I conduct 360-degree leadership feedback interviews all the time. That’s one way that I help executives and Chiefs of Staff hear hard truths, identify patterns, and translate feedback into meaningful behavior change. Truth? I’m very comfortable on that side of the table.
What I hadn’t done in a few years, though, was sit on the receiving side.
As part of my Six Domains of Leadership coaching certification process, I recently participated in my own 360° feedback and coaching session. The input came from former direct reports, peers, and supervisors across three different companies. It was affirming, thoughtful, and—at one point—unexpectedly funny.
One line made me laugh out loud in recognition:
“You are always the first to jump in and solve problems, but sometimes you just need to let others own their inaction, for the sake of the team.”
Oof. Accurate.
The Shadow Side of Being “Helpful”
Many Chiefs of Staff and senior leaders pride themselves on being responsive, reliable, action-oriented, and calm in chaos. We see a gap and we fill it. We see indecision and resolve it. We see risk and quietly mitigate it before anyone else has to.
The feedback I received wasn’t saying this instinct is bad. It was saying that, unchecked, it has consequences.
When you’re always the first to jump in:
- Others don’t feel the same urgency to act
- Accountability starts to blur
- Ownership erodes
- The system quietly learns to rely on you as the backstop
In other words, your competence can unintentionally enable dysfunction.
What “Let Others Own Their Inaction” Really Means
This feedback wasn’t a call to become passive or disengaged. It was about resisting some very familiar urges:
- Chasing people down prematurely
- Covering for those who repeatedly fail to deliver
- Turning someone else’s delay into my emergency
Letting others own their inaction means allowing natural consequences to surface, naming missed commitments instead of quietly fixing them, and giving people space to feel the discomfort of not following through. That discomfort is often where learning and accountability actually take root.
Why This Is a Critical Leadership Skill
For Chiefs of Staff especially, this is a muscle worth building.
We sit at the intersection of responsibility and authority, and over-functioning can mask the places where authority actually needs to be exercised. We influence systems, not just outcomes—and systems don’t change if we keep compensating for them. And whether we intend to or not, we model leadership norms. If we always rescue, others learn that under-performance is acceptable.
Learning when not to act is just as important as knowing how to act.
How I’m Practicing This in Real Time
These days, I don’t do a lot of collaborative, project-based work. But when I have that opportunity, I’m experimenting with a few small but intentional shifts:
- Pausing before responding to requests that aren’t truly mine to own
- Asking myself, “What happens if I don’t step in right now?”
- Clarifying ownership explicitly instead of assuming it
- Letting uncomfortable silence do a bit more work in meetings
- Not smoothing over missed deadlines unless there’s real risk involved
None of this comes naturally to me. I like fixing things! But leadership growth rarely shows up where we’re already strong.
The final sip
The best 360° feedback doesn’t tell you something completely new. It names a truth you already recognize—but haven’t fully reckoned with.
For me, “let others own their inaction” was exactly that. Not a criticism, but an invitation. And a reminder that sometimes the most responsible thing a leader can do is step back.
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